Where is my positive energy???? It's stressed and has decided to take a vacation. Over the next few days I will not speak to any of my friends and center myself first with my work and than with myself personally. I think after a meeting I have on Tuesday I'm going to take off and drive somewhere,and sleep in my car and enjoy the weather, refocus and come to terms with certain things good and bad, by either doing something about it if its bad and enhancing it closer to my soul if its good.
I may invite one friend, but only one. I don't trust many people in my life which as I get older I realise is a problem. I have established relationships with certain individuals that I now bring into question and quite frankly I have figured I don't want a relationship with. The biggest issue is the relationship I have with my father. I am at a point in my life were I need to disconnect from him. In all honesty he was never the father that I know he was intended to be. In fact, the best way to describe my father would be "a father by convenience". He was a good dad when he felt like it, taking me on trips to local museum, plays, parks, etc. This has brought me my cultured view of the world and continues to open my mind to new things everyday, something that I thank God for having the passion to grow with as I move throughout my journey of life in evolving into my personal legend. -THE ALCHEMIST.
The second relationship I feel that I have to walk away from temporarily is that with my friend Halima. I love her and respect the person that she is, but something has been moving within me for quite awhile involving us. So many things I want to say and I need to say can never make it a easy transition to tell someone that you don't want to be in their wedding. I will be there, just don't want to be apart of the actual ceremony.So how does one break the news??? I have no idea, but I know I have to talk to her soon, but the weddings in November so I have time, right?
I feel like I'm trying to run away from something, I'm paranoid, and I need to get the hell out of here, as soon as possible. After a meeting I have later this week, I'm getting the hell out of here before I lose my God fearin' mind!!!
May the force be with me.
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