Audre Lorde said it best:
"We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way."
I love this quote, one that I have just adopted into my internal to help me cope with life as it has been and prepare me for how it will be.
I have loved women since my existence into this world. As a child raised by five mothers(actual mother,3 aunts, and grandmother) I have had strong- minded, Strong willed leading women in my life that have shaped and mold me over the years. It has been this love given by women to a woman that has taught me how to love a woman.
I explore my sexuality just not on the basis of what it can for a man, or how it can bring life into the world but I express my sexuality by how I love other women, especially women of color,and more specifically black women.
Therefore, as Audre puts it all women are lesbians. Historically women have always been identified by our physical,enslaved and beaten like our brothers yet our scares are deeper. Connected to the rape and mutilation we suffer, never forgetting, always reminded that we are women first. Never recognized by our mental strengths that allow us to forgive our rapist,abuser,child molesters,fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, neighborhoods,etc. Yet, never forgiving ourselves and each other.
Women have this ability to love so freely and it never be brought into question. Men on the other hand would never openly admit to a deeper connection with another man. Men have been socialized to fight against this tend of emotional and spiritual connections with aggression, manipulation, and fear of homosexuality. Gay men also are a victim of this same social disease that labels them as being over sexed, infected,and internalized homophobia.
Even within our oppressive lives are able to create this place in which we can share intimacy between us and it be respected,nurtured, and accepted as it is I believe this allows women to fall in love with other women so easily. I believe if men were the more oppressed group this connection would be acceptable. Men that don't internalize this socialized classification of masculinity are considered gay or "strange". Ostracized by their ability to not allow themselves to fall victim to a structure that keeps each of us stagnate and never moving forward progressively and without so many restrictions.
Women that say they just have sex with other women are in actuality attempting to feel something more than what they have been socialized to embrace. Everyone knows that there is this place within ourselves that has not yet been fulfilled, we are given the chance,and dear we are to take it to express this feeling,sometimes called temptation. However, one has to understand that if it was never a possibility within the corners of our mind one would have never distinguished it as a temptation and therefore a resistance or weakness of the mind.
To have a emotional, spiritual transformation of intimacy with someone of the same sex it is with those two individuals that a decision is made on whether to explore a physical and sexual connect as well. When one has been stimulated, nurtured, romanticized through a force that is unlike any other we tend to want to further this expression through erotic sexual attraction, yet as Audre explains the erotic part has already taken place, the expression of our sexuality is just the icing on the cake perhaps.
It is human nature to connect with someone on a level unlike any other relationship we have had before. We make things complicated when we only allow ourselves to connect with the opposite of our ones' kind because of the stigma associated with that expression. If we deconstruct love we would come to understand that it as we know it is not a gender role expression but the possibility of creating something new and unknown and the fear of it becoming a reality and it being greater and better than can be imagined. The fear lies in the unknown,yet knowing that either way you will come out of it differently than before.
I love this way because I got it as a child. I love women, because I am a woman and I accept love because I deserve it.
God Bless
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